So yeah, I got high with Snoop Dogg on New Year’s Eve 2003.
This was during my early years in NYC, when I was scraping together coins to pay rent.
I took a time-and-a-half gig cater-waiting for MTV’s Total Request Live New Year’s special. While the money was too good to pass up, working on New Year’s Eve is no young man’s dream.
So off I went, in the final hours of 2002, shuffling past bundled-up revelers and multiple security checks to MTV’s headquarters in Times Square.
You MIGHT think it would be swanky. You would be wrong.
The Viacom building, home to MTV, is sterile, corporate, and mid-level management-y. At least where they allow plebes like me. To approximate “vibes,” they hung some temporary curtains to create pseudo VIP lounges for the talent.
Lo and behold, I was assigned Team Snoop. My job was to keep Snoop and crew well lubricated as the Times Square crowd roared outside the windows, 30 odd floors below.
So there I was:
A young Mark Fisher, wearing white pants, a white button up, and a baby blue bowtie, ferrying drinks between our makeshift bar and Snoop’s entourage.
I peaked my head into Snoop’s quarters for my first check-in. Snoop was sitting in the back with his kids.
He looked up at me and said,
“Yo. Yo, nephew. Can you get my kids some virgin daiquiris?”
“Hmm. I’m not sure we have those Mr. Snoop Dogg. But I can make them Shirley Temples?”
Cue MF power-walking back to our makeshift bar to whip up Shirley Temples for Snoop’s progeny.
Being total degenerates, our early 20’s staff was, of course, nipping on booze and Red Bull as we took care of Green Day’s manager, Lindsay Lohan’s mom, and other early 2000’s celebrity adjacents.
So I was feeling pretty dang loose in the men’s bathroom just before the ball dropped, when Snoop and posse mosey in and block the door.
I cut eyes at two colleagues also using the facilities.
Is this really happening?
To our delight, our service that evening had not gone unnoticed. We were enthusiastically invited to leave the urinals and join the developing circle.
At this point, the blunts came out.
Now, stories like this have a way of getting embellished. But I swear on my daughter’s life, I find myself standing next to Snoop in the rotation. I take a shotgun hit from Lil John, his chalice in hand. I giddily trade “Canyoubelievethis??” glances at my fellow caterers. Life. Is. GOOD.
And then…
Heavy knocks crash on the bathroom door.
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
The room goes quiet
(Minus some stoned giggles)
Someone from Team Snoop creeps to the guarded bathroom door.
The door creaks open
And…
In walks Ja Rule!
The entire bathroom ganja society rejoices and cheers!
We take our places back in the rotation. And I watch Ja Rule and Snoop compare their nugs, all of our eyes puffy and red.
The morale of the story is this…
When Snoop Dogg calls you “nephew” and asks you to get his kids non-alcoholic drinks on New Year’s…
YOU F*GGING DO IT.*
Seriously though, Mr. Snoop is a very nice man and I owe him big,
Mark
PS Do you also want to get high with Snoop Dogg in a bathroom?
I can absolutely guarantee this will NOT be happening at our upcoming Unicorn Society retreat in Toronto March 21st-22nd.
(I mean… I guess you could get high in a bathroom. If you wanted. I just don’t think Snoop is coming. At least not that I know of. But I guess I don’t know for sure that he’s NOT coming??)
However, we WILL be talking all about Marketing & Sales.
And this will result in a 73% reduction in the odds of having to work on New Year’s Eve wearing all white and a baby blue bowtie.
So if you’re a gym owner looking for:
- A steadier flow of weekly leads
- More qualified prospects who value your services
- Increasing revenue month over month
… you’ll want to join us.
We only have a few non-member spots left.
If you want to learn more, comment “TORONTO” and I’ll get you the rest of the details.
*oh my god, I can’t believe this…
I just won the Academy Award for most non-sequitur story that barely ties into the call to action, wowowow, I’m so proud, holy crap, look at me, ma!