How Ben and Michael Recovered from Burnout

[00:00:00] 1, 2, 3, 4. [00:00:05] Welcome to The Business for Unicorns podcast, where we help gym and [00:00:10] studio owners create a business and a life they love. I’m your host, Michael Keeler. [00:00:15] Join me and the business unicorns team each week for actionable advice, expert [00:00:20] insights, and the inside scoop on what it really takes to level up your gym.

Get ready to [00:00:25] unlock your potential and become a real unicorn in the fitness industry.[00:00:30] [00:00:35]

Hello, fitness business nerds. What’s up? Welcome to [00:00:40] another episode of The Business Unicorns podcast. Today I’m back with a man, Ben. How [00:00:45] are you, Mr. Pickard? I’m doing great. On the theme of today’s. [00:00:50] Discussion. I just spent some quality time doing self-care by hanging out in the woods for a long [00:00:55] weekend. It was Canadian Thanksgiving.

It happens way too early and basically [00:01:00] just spent time outside. We shot clays, we milled lumber. We played with our excavator. We [00:01:05] walked, we saw moose, so many moose. Wow. Doing great. That sounds like the ultimate [00:01:10] Canadian Thanksgiving. Oh. Just in the woods chopping woods, [00:01:15] chopping wood. Just I bet you a flannel shirt on context, but yeah, that was, [00:01:20] I didn’t, I did wear a flannel actually, from this case.

Yeah. Yeah. I’m playing in [00:01:25] stereotypes for sure. We all do. They’re there for a reason. Yeah. I’s amazing. [00:01:30] Good for you. Good for you. Yeah. I, you know this, but I don’t, I don’t think I shared this with listeners. I spent a week [00:01:35] last week just focusing on schoolwork. I had the, the blessing of this [00:01:40] BPH Unicorns team supporting me, like taking some time to do some schoolwork and it was, I can’t say it was the [00:01:45] most fun week I’ve ever had, but it was really rewarding and productive to be able to focus on [00:01:50] my, my writing and research.

It was really pretty great in terms of today’s topic, which is all about self-care [00:01:55] and we were both having pretty good coming off pretty good weeks. Yeah. Yeah, let me, let me formally introduce [00:02:00] today’s topic. So one of the things that we have to navigate on a regular basis as coaches [00:02:05] of gym owners is talking to gym owners who are really frigging burnt out.

We’re [00:02:10] really overwhelmed, who’re really stretched thin, who are on their last bit of energy [00:02:15] or last bit of hope or motivation. And we all have been there, right? We’ve all been there either. [00:02:20] Either because you’re a Jim motor or an entrepreneur in some way, or other things in your life. Have. Brought you to the point where [00:02:25] you’re really at your wit’s end and you’re just not sure how to get out of the mud to get out of that [00:02:30] stuckness.

And because it’s such a universal feeling and we all know it and it’s gonna come around, [00:02:35] it’s gonna come around the bend several times in our life, in our careers. We thought we’d just take this opportunity today to talk a [00:02:40] little bit about, about that experience. Ben and I have thought we both shared maybe some stories of times we’ve been in [00:02:45] that place, talk about what’s worked for us and maybe what we’ve seen work for other gym owners who get stuck [00:02:50] in that place.

For our Unicorn center members, we have a whole playbook here about self-care [00:02:55] for gym owners. That puts, puts together some research and some best practices around caring for [00:03:00] yourself. But today we thought we would, we would skip the step-by-step playbook and really just kinda share some of our [00:03:05] stories.

Ben, why don’t you kick us off? Gimme, gimme some of your thoughts about how you’ve managed being [00:03:10] overwhelmed and burned out in your life and career. Yeah. It’s not something I [00:03:15] feel like I have quote unquote figured out where I’m like, oh, I’ve, I’m recognizing that they’re the early [00:03:20] signs of burnouts and I know this is my personal playbook for handling them.

It’s just something that comes up and needs to be [00:03:25] addressed. Yeah. The time where I think I was most burnt out was [00:03:30] actually, you helped me a lot with this. I’m sure I’ve shared this before on the podcast, even before COVID just being [00:03:35] like, toast with my business. It was too much work. It was too much stress.

We were making [00:03:40] shitloads of money, but as you helped me identify. And I’ll say, I reluctantly identified this. It [00:03:45] wasn’t easy, so it’s not like I, again, have it sorted out. I was just basically optimizing for money [00:03:50] and I wasn’t putting boundaries in place and I needed to find different ways to do things.

And kind of reflecting back, [00:03:55] that was like five years ago. Reflecting back on that, I think one of the biggest lessons that [00:04:00] I still need to remind myself of is that everything’s optional. Like we don’t have [00:04:05] bosses breathing down our necks. Yeah. It’s almost worse, but it does give [00:04:10] some freedom of we are sleeping in the bed that we made.

Yeah, it’s true. There’s, [00:04:15] you’re right, there’s both like a, like a, an empowerment in that There’s also like a. Oh [00:04:20] shit. Victim in that, right? It’s both, right? Yeah. I shot myself in the foot. Now I have to deal with the [00:04:25] fact that my foot hurts, and I had the shame of shooting myself in the foot. And it’s one of those nice things though, that [00:04:30] if you really do zoom out, like there’s no, there’s best practices, but there’s no [00:04:35] mandatory things.

You, you don’t have to do those Friday evening sessions if you really don’t want to. Yeah, maybe [00:04:40] one client’s going to quit, but. You know how much a client’s worth is that worth it to you? You get to make that [00:04:45] choice. Nobody’s saying you have to come into the office X many days per week, or you can’t work at this [00:04:50] company anymore.

Or nobody’s saying that, Hey, if you work at this place, you have to work Saturday [00:04:55] mornings. If you hate working Saturday mornings, like you can hire people to do things you don’t like, you can stop doing things that aren’t [00:05:00] necessary. And a lot of the pressure is self-imposed from, I think usually from a [00:05:05] place of wanting to do a really good job.

Sure. Yeah, so, so [00:05:10] obviously you were able to, back then, five years ago, acknowledge that’s what you were [00:05:15] going through and what did it take? How did you come to the realization that, oh, I have choice here? [00:05:20] I had conversations with people who I’ve viewed as quote unquote ahead of [00:05:25] me in business and life, and just get their take on where I was at and depending who I [00:05:30] talked to.

And this is an important lesson in here, depending who you talk to, the type of [00:05:35] feedback you’re going to get. Sure. I know if I bring something to you, it’s gonna come around. What do I want? And helping me [00:05:40] dig myself outta the well versus if I go to an accountant, they’re probably gonna be like, what are the financial pros [00:05:45] and cons of doing this thing?

Sure. Be aware that you’re asking, that you’re asking different people for [00:05:50] feedback. We’ll give you different answers depending on their lens and bias on how they see things. [00:05:55] But by talking to other people, it made me really feel that I wasn’t stuck. And I joke about it [00:06:00] with sometimes with b, a few members, that even if we’re facing a problem in our gym, one of the things I love most is that there’s [00:06:05] no way, there’s no possible scenario where we are the first person ever having this problem in the world.

[00:06:10] Of course. Like we’re just, I love our industry in so many ways, and we’re not actually inventing [00:06:15] things. We’re not like, shit, we need to invent a better way to go to the moon. We’re not [00:06:20] like this. This is all stuff that has been done before. And there are playbooks of best practices, which is [00:06:25] like right. So it’s no longer a mystery.

It’s just a problem, and I get to decide whether [00:06:30] or not this is a problem I’m interested in solving and how I solve it. Yeah. [00:06:35] So you got to talking to other folks, getting different perspectives, and obviously I love your point about everyone [00:06:40] has a bias, a perspective, a lens. So take that into account when you’re asking people for straight up advice.[00:06:45]

Yeah. Or even experience shares. And so you did that and you got some advice and things from other people. [00:06:50] And then what did that lead you to? Me. What would you do as a result of those conversations? For [00:06:55] me, the two things that stand out are one, bringing on a general manager was the right call for me. [00:07:00] Yes, I make less money the thing, but can I afford to hire that person?

Yes. If you pay someone to do a thing for you, [00:07:05] you’ll at least temporarily have a period of time where you make less money ’cause you’re paying that person to do that [00:07:10] thing for you. Your business probably won’t grow by your GM salary the day you hired them. Unlikely. [00:07:15] The second thing for me was really getting clear of what I want my cadence of work to look like.

And I’ll give an [00:07:20] example. Just this past weekend, it was amazing to spend all that time in the woods and I [00:07:25] shortsightedly skipped my, what would normally be Sunday night routine, but was a Monday night [00:07:30] routine this time of just like giving my emails, giving it a once over putting thing into my [00:07:35] task. Then when I got into work this morning, I had this little shit moment and I had to do a little bit of scrambling.

[00:07:40] And I’m not suggesting everybody needs to check their email every day, follow your heart. But for me, I do [00:07:45] find, and maybe this is just a coping mechanism, but I do find my stress levels and my overwhelm feels [00:07:50] significantly less if I touch base with work almost every day. Sure. [00:07:55] Whether that’s answering a couple slack messages or doing something quick, it doesn’t mean I’m doing five hours on a Saturday morning, but [00:08:00] like just coming back to an index full of notifications and crap like that, I’m like, let me clean that shit out.

So when I’m ready to [00:08:05] start, I’m in the red head space to start. Got it. Yeah. So these conversations led you [00:08:10] to rethinking what you really want, reorganizing your priorities, your tasks. [00:08:15] Deciding a GM was really gonna be kind of a linchpin that helps free up some of your time and take things off your [00:08:20] plate.

Yeah, that makes sense. And how quickly were you able to take action on that stuff? [00:08:25] That’s a good question. Trying to reflect back. Yeah. My, [00:08:30] you might actually be a better member than me. Yeah. I believe I hummed and hawed and dragged my [00:08:35] heels for a month or two because I didn’t like the fact that was the thing I knew I had to do.

Sure. I was just avoiding the [00:08:40] work and then once I started, I dug my fucking heels in and went full throttle. Yeah. Which is pretty [00:08:45] par for the course for me. Yeah, and that sounds like my memory of it as well, and I think that you’re not alone, [00:08:50] right. Because oftentimes that solution. That you came up with in, in this moment is [00:08:55] something you probably, on some level knew all along, something you knew that needed to happen, right?

And so when you [00:09:00] finally decide, oh, my solution moving forward, and part of my solution is hiring this gm, creating this role, [00:09:05] finding the person, developing this person. That’s a big, that’s a little mountain to climb to do that for the [00:09:10] first time, right? And so to be a little reluctant about it and not sprint into action, I think is [00:09:15] very normal.

A very normal experience. Yeah. And once you did though, you jump in and you made it [00:09:20] happen. Yeah. I wrote SOPs, I got shit together. I did the [00:09:25] budget work like it was, yeah, something switched in me, which again is normal for me. I [00:09:30] procrastinate the thing and then when I’m ready to do it, it’s not necessarily the night before, but when I am decided to do it, it’s like [00:09:35] it takes a lot of my mental.

And like any of my free thought goes towards really getting the most I can [00:09:40] outta this thing I’m doing so I can do my best work. Yep. And yeah, I just didn’t shy away from any [00:09:45] corner when it came to it. Yeah. So much. So now that I think we, we talk about your work with [00:09:50] your gm, Alicia, as being like one of the things you’re most proud of.

We’ve even had on the podcast you all talking [00:09:55] about your partnership. So you really did turn that moment of not sure what to do. [00:10:00] That moment of stuckness into frankly one of your, one of your greatest career achievements. Thank you. [00:10:05] I appreciate that. Yeah, that’s a good keynote speech you should make someday.

That’s a good keynote. You should [00:10:10] go get a keynote speaker, coach and work on that. You get paid big bucks for telling that story. [00:10:15] I know that. Maybe I will. That’s amazing. So I [00:10:20] think lemme just recap some things I heard in there that I think are really useful, which is one, giving yourself the [00:10:25] time and space when you’re stuck in the mud, to really reflect on what am I doing here?

What am I stuck [00:10:30] with? What’s happening? Really just get clear. Anything that requires a certain amount of self-awareness, which one [00:10:35] develops over time. I know that’s something you’ve worked on over the years. And then the thing that really helped you is to get out of your own [00:10:40] head and into conversation with people.

And I think that’s a theme through a lot of folks that I talk to, [00:10:45] and it’s been a theme in my life as well. That’s very easy to spiral and stay stuck when you’re just, [00:10:50] when the only work you’re doing is inside your head. Yes, it’s a recipe for running in [00:10:55] place. Yeah. The funniest part, when I did talk to those, the people like for the.[00:11:00]

I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Yep. [00:11:05] And they were just like, yeah, you should totally just get a general manager. This is normal. And I was almost [00:11:10] what? Feel my pain friends feel it more, and then it’s weight. Almost every business you go [00:11:15] into. Can I talk to the manager?

There’s a manager to talk to. Yeah. So it really [00:11:20] helped me not feel like I was alone on the island. And again, I like the framing of a mystery or a problem. It [00:11:25] shifted it from a, what do I, I don’t know what to do about this. And I’m feeling stuck to, oh, there’s a ladder to [00:11:30] climb right there. I just have to do the right things to get my hands and feet up the damn ladder.[00:11:35]

Yeah. Yeah. Good for you. So those conversations unlocked, that stuck just for you, gave you some [00:11:40] ideas, brought you to the realization of some things you might try next, including reorganizing your priorities, getting [00:11:45] a, a general manager, and then after some initial resistance, you took some action on that [00:11:50] and it really brought you to a whole new place and level in your business.

Did I miss anything? [00:11:55] That was a concise and accurate summary. Yeah. Good for you. I think there’s a lot of takeaways in [00:12:00] there for our listeners. I think there’s a lot of kind of universal experiences in there. I guess maybe [00:12:05] I’ll share, I’m trying to think of, there’s so many examples I can choose from feeling overwhelmed and burned [00:12:10] out.

I’ll say this. When it comes to MFF, I think there’s really no other period. Maybe [00:12:15] COVID is another period that. That that rivals this one. But many of you, long-term listeners of the podcast [00:12:20] know that Mark and I had a really tough time opening up a second location. We called it, it was down the lower East side [00:12:25] Manhattan.

We called it our Bowery location because it was on Bowery, which is a street down there. And, and [00:12:30] I won’t go through the whole saga ’cause we’ll be here for nine hours if I tell you the whole tearful tale. But I’ll share [00:12:35] just the highlights of it and feel free to ask me questions, Ben, if there’s things I’m leaving out or things [00:12:40] you wanna know.

But the thing that was so overwhelming to me about that moment, what at the time, the kind of. Biggest [00:12:45] financial and logistical swing. Mark and I had taken, we had expanded the first [00:12:50] MFF clubhouse several times on the same street, working with the same landlord. Just like getting more space. [00:12:55] Getting more space.

This was our first time, brand new location. Another place we built it out from [00:13:00] scratch, like literally just studded walls. We had to put in everything. So big financial investment, big logistical [00:13:05] investment, and I was by default to the project manager. I was the one who was managing it all, [00:13:10] and for me, the thing that really pushed me to be really overwhelmed and burned out was [00:13:15] I put this pressure on myself to feel, to, to really have all the answers for everyone [00:13:20] and keep like this really happy.

Everything’s going well face. When clients would ask about [00:13:25] it, when the team would ask about it, when our bank would ask about it, when friends and family would ask [00:13:30] about it, I felt the need early on to really be like, it’s all going well. It’s all going well. [00:13:35] Even after it started not going well, even long story short, it wound up getting rid of our contractor [00:13:40] and suing our general contractor.

Like it gotten real messy and even when it started not going well, [00:13:45] I felt the need to put on a happy face and put on a show for people, and that really burnt me out, [00:13:50] that faking it. Was just, I’m not good at that. And if anyone knows me at all, like no, [00:13:55] I’m just not good at not saying what I feel, but I felt like I put that pressure on myself [00:14:00] to do that, which is a whole nother conversation for a therapist some other time.

But, but [00:14:05] I think a lot of folks that I talk to feel like they have to be a certain kind of leader for their people. Right, [00:14:10] and you put on that kind of persona that you think people want. And this was just an extreme version of it. And, [00:14:15] and so one of the things that started to get me unstuck, I’ll say, I’ll name two, and I think they’re actually very similar to [00:14:20] what you went through.

Before you jump to those, please, I’m curious. What were the signs that you [00:14:25] noticed to recognize that you were starting to feel burnt out? Yeah, great question. So [00:14:30] one is I really felt, I started to feel tension in that in my conversations about what do I [00:14:35] tell this person? Do I tell the truth about how bad things are?

Do I tell the truth about, I don’t [00:14:40] have any answers? Do I tell the truth about I have no idea when we’re gonna open. I start to feel real like [00:14:45] pressure with. Basic conversations of Michael, how are things going or what’s a new [00:14:50] open date, or anything like that. I felt myself really having to like think about what am I gonna say to this [00:14:55] person, which is usually not a point of stress for me.

Like general [00:15:00] conversations just felt like they were heavy. And so I noticed that right away, like a day-to-day basis. And then I [00:15:05] also noticed that because of that energy I was spending faking it, I had no energy for anything [00:15:10] else in life. And you asked my husband at the time, I could barely get home and make dinner.

I, [00:15:15] some days I couldn’t even want to eat dinner. I was just so exhausted from doing that dance all [00:15:20] day. And I, we talk about this in, and we go to our retreats for Unicorn Society. We’re on for. [00:15:25] Multiple days at a time from 8:00 AM to 10:00 PM or like in front of [00:15:30] clients. And part of that is a show we’re ourselves, but part of it is you’re putting on a show for the people [00:15:35] who pay you.

Right? And so I had a version of that, but it was, the stakes were higher than [00:15:40] I ever had before. And so I would just get home at night and I would be so exhausted. We’re talking about months and months at a [00:15:45] time on end. And so it was a lack of. Physical energy and, [00:15:50] and real kind of anxiety about just everyday conversations, like those are my initial [00:15:55] clues.

Got it. And I asked that for the obvious here of, yeah, if you’re not self-aware [00:16:00] enough to recognize the symptoms, sometimes you get a little too far down the slope before you decide to make a [00:16:05] change. Yes, 100%. I think in, in me, I think I have a decent amount of self-awareness. There’s a skill [00:16:10] that I really have tried to work on over the years, but even though I knew, even after I knew.

That I [00:16:15] didn’t feel good, that didn’t have energy, and I was stressed out about regular conver everyday [00:16:20] conversations. I still kept up doing the same thing for a while. Even though I knew [00:16:25] it about myself, I wasn’t, I didn’t know what to do to get out of it. I didn’t know what to do to get out of it. And two [00:16:30] things, what thing you do to get out of it.

Yeah. Great. Prompt one is actually, I did a lot of, I did one thing that you did, which [00:16:35] is I did talk to other people. I started to talk to other people who, other entrepreneur friends, people who worked [00:16:40] in construction development and that kind of thing. People who went through similar high pressure, high stakes [00:16:45] scenarios like I was going through.

So talking to others did exactly what it did for you. For me. [00:16:50] Right. I also had a coach at the time, so I talked to my coach. Right. Big plug for coaching to say [00:16:55] like just an outside perspective to help me. Get some some new direction. And the second thing [00:17:00] I did, which is a little bit counterintuitive now looking back at it, but was I realized I needed [00:17:05] to have something in my life that wasn’t about that.

That at the [00:17:10] time, my whole life, every minute, every day, every fiber by being was about this [00:17:15] project of building out this new gym and. Hundreds of thousands of, if not a [00:17:20] couple million dollars that was at stake. The jobs that were at stake, the expectations of our clients. It [00:17:25] was all I was eating and breathing and living all day.

And I think, this is my husband’s suggestion, I have [00:17:30] to go back and see if that tracks, but he, at the time, he said something like, and these are not his [00:17:35] words, but something like, you need a hobby. Like, you need something to put your mind on [00:17:40] that’s not this from time to time, and, and, and I did, I found some things, [00:17:45] actually a few different things I started doing outside of this project, just to give myself a broader [00:17:50] sense of identity, like my whole world was wrapped up in my whole sense of value.

My whole sense of of [00:17:55] self was wrapped up in. Project and smartly, I think my husband’s the one who recommended [00:18:00] doing something else, so I started cooking and baking a little bit more, and I was a little bit of a time when I started to do that, I [00:18:05] started, I joined a little cooking club for a little while just to cook something new every single week, right?

[00:18:10] Things like that took me out of it. So I was like, oh, I am more than just this project. Yes, my [00:18:15] life has value beyond whether or not this Mark Fisher witness location on the Lower East Side [00:18:20] succeeds, and it helps me have a little bit of distance. And a little bit of perspective, so I [00:18:25] wasn’t as drawn in every day, and that’s hard to do for a lot of entrepreneurs.

We talk to Jims every day [00:18:30] who their whole identity is really. Poured into their business. We talk [00:18:35] about it even sometimes we talk about it like having a baby, right? Like it’s part of us and part of our [00:18:40] family, which is we try not to do that as much anymore because I think it’s a little unhelpful and perverse [00:18:45] in some cases that like it’s not a baby, it’s a business.

Yeah. But with, we can’t help but feel that way [00:18:50] about something that we poured so much of ourselves into. So for me, just having that some shit [00:18:55] outside of work that I cared about. Just gave me that little bit of [00:19:00] distance to say, oh, you’re more than just this, Michael, you’re, this is important, but also you have other [00:19:05] things going on that add value to your life and your worth.

And that helped me, put me [00:19:10] on a new path, gave me enough distance to kind of reapproach. And I think my reapproach just ’cause I know [00:19:15] this story’s getting long, was about, okay Michael, instead of faking it every day and keeping a [00:19:20] smiley face. Let’s start telling people the truth. Let’s start being honest about [00:19:25] where this project is at and where what you know and what you don’t know.

I wasn’t gonna catastrophize ’cause I’m, [00:19:30] that’s not my style, but at the very least I didn’t hide it when I was like, you know what? I actually don’t know what our [00:19:35] open date’s gonna be. It’s actually a mystery to me right now. I’m trying to figure it out, but I don’t know it as of [00:19:40] today. You’ll be the first to find out what I know.

Yeah. Like I would just, I tried to keep it positive, but I [00:19:45] stopped. I stopped sugarcoating. And that was meaningful. That was meaningful. ’cause that way I also got more help [00:19:50] that way ’cause people knew that things weren’t sun shining and rosy and I could, I was more [00:19:55] comfortable sharing that and, and luckily with the community I had at MFF and in my life, [00:20:00] people would rally around and help, which is something I wouldn’t even have asked for.

But it was a kind of a [00:20:05] byproduct of me just being honest about where things work. Yeah, that’s huge. So it sounds like for you, similar to [00:20:10] me, you talked to other people so you didn’t feel alone on the island and stuck. Yeah. And second recognized. Yeah. It was [00:20:15] taking, it was literally exhausting you to keep up the front and you started telling people the [00:20:20] positive version of the truth.

It wasn’t sugarcoated. It wasn’t cata catastrophizing, it was positive spin [00:20:25] on here’s what’s actually up and what’s going. Yeah, 100%. And I wanna be clear that like [00:20:30] my intentions for keeping a smiley face, I wasn’t trying to be deceitful, like I wasn’t trying [00:20:35] to lie to people. My intention was to try and make it seem to let people know that it’s [00:20:40] all gonna be okay.

Like even though we’re going through some shit right now and some things aren’t working, we’re passing some [00:20:45] deadlines, it’s costing more than we wanted. My intention was to be like. It’s all gonna be okay. We’re gonna figure it [00:20:50] out. We’re gonna push through. So I would just stick with those messaging. I was never, my intention was never to be like [00:20:55] hiding things.

It was really all in the spirit of, I don’t want people to worry. I’m gonna hold all the [00:21:00] worry myself. There’s a real kind of martyrdom that I was going through. But, but, but yeah. So I think that, [00:21:05] that hopefully is, maybe for all of you out there who, who go through some similar stressful times. I think there’s some [00:21:10] similarities to Ben and i’s stories right?

Getting out of your own head. Asking for help and support, talking [00:21:15] to others, getting some distance from your issue, getting some distance from the stress and [00:21:20] overwhelm, recognizing that you have value outside of just your work, that you, [00:21:25] you don’t have to be a productive human. To be a worthy human is a tough [00:21:30] one, is essential.

I have to keep reminding myself of that. I value just because I exist, not [00:21:35] because I produce, and that’s a hard one when we live in this kind of capitalist world and, and we’re business [00:21:40] owners. Yeah, you brought up an important point that like your identity was [00:21:45] wrapped up in the success of the Bowery location and you know your business as a whole and it makes sense from [00:21:50] that perspective.

It makes sense to feel like you’re worth less when the thing isn’t going according to [00:21:55] plan. Exactly, and I was the opposite side of the same coin of like my business was actually going [00:22:00] really well from a p and l and business standpoint, but my priorities had [00:22:05] actually shifted and I hadn’t recognized that.

Because inevitably in our businesses, there’s going to be ups and downs. [00:22:10] Growth is not linear in any business that I’ve ever seen. Maybe yours will be the first, but [00:22:15] that’s a long shot. There’s an inevitable decline, and if your self-worth is wrapped up in [00:22:20] the numbers on your p and l, or if the project is going on timeline or on [00:22:25] budget or whatever, yeah.

When something goes wrong, you’re inevitably gonna feel shitty about it. And I [00:22:30] can’t think of a worse situation to be in when something goes wrong that you’re beating yourself up and you have to solve [00:22:35] the problem. Yeah. 100% versus if you can view it as your role as a business owner is [00:22:40] separate from your identity as a human.

I don’t know how exactly that ties into the self-care piece other than, [00:22:45] yeah, like you’re clear that you are not a bad person because that thing isn’t working. Yeah. Yeah. [00:22:50] Listen, I think there’s a whole psychology conversation to be had here about how [00:22:55] one can compartmentalize things in their lives, different aspects of our identity, right?

It’s a [00:23:00] long, it’s, we can make this a much longer conversation, but I think the useful shorthand I’ll share [00:23:05] here, which is to recognize that you as a gym owner is just one part of who you are, and [00:23:10] so all the problems and issues or challenges you have related to that one part of yourself is just one [00:23:15] part of yourself.

And so often it feels like the whole thing and when it’s not going well that the world is [00:23:20] crashing down. And I get that feeling, but that feeling is part of what keeps us stuck in that [00:23:25] place, and we can recognize that it’s actually not true. That’s actually just one part of who we are. [00:23:30] One thing that we work on, one thing that we care about, and there’s other things outside of that, other people, other [00:23:35] worlds, other things that we care about.

It does help us give us a little perspective [00:23:40] and help take the pressure off being perfect or being great all the time as a business owner. [00:23:45] Yes, it makes you more likely to try to take swings and even if you [00:23:50] miss, it makes you more likely to embrace the failures as learns like more about this than I do.

But I can see so many [00:23:55] ways that it actually applies and. To your initial point, like you need to have the self-awareness to [00:24:00] know what’s going on so that you can get an action around that thing. Yeah, 100%. [00:24:05] I think that’s a great way to end it right there, Ben. I think that’s a good kinda summary of what we covered here.

I think we both [00:24:10] shared some great examples. I think I liked that today was really about sharing stories and [00:24:15] hopefully there was some takeaways to your listeners. Hopefully this is worth your time listening. I hope it was [00:24:20] at the very least, you hopefully are taking away that if you’ve been stressed out.

As a business owner, as [00:24:25] a gym owner, that you’re not alone. We’ve all been through it and there are ways through and hopefully some of the [00:24:30] ways things that work for us could also work for you. Yeah, definitely. Um, yeah, thanks for a great conversation. [00:24:35] It’s always been, this was a fun one and, and I hope we can have more conversations about how our [00:24:40] listeners can take care of themselves.

I think it’s important. Agreed. Thank you. Yeah. Awesome. See y’all the next one. Have a [00:24:45] kick ass day. Bye. Bye.[00:24:50] [00:24:55] [00:25:00] [00:25:05]

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