If you really and truly give a shit…
(And if you’re reading this, it’s HIGHLY likely you really and truly give shit…)
Sometimes clients can hurt your feelings.
That may strike you as childish to say. And admittedly, it may look more like a client “pissing you the hell off.”
Call it what you want. But we DO care about what our clients think. Or we wouldn’t be good at what we do.
That’s why it stings when someone really doesn’t care for your services.
Now, I’ve never been everyone’s cup of tea. But in general, the early days of MFF brought more than a fair share of positive feedback. And the enthusiasm was such that those who didn’t care for MFF — or me — quietly disappeared.
Not only that, but in my spite of my “strong flavor,” I obviously give a shit. So most people would give me the benefit of the doubt. Even if I wasn’t the right vibe for them.
But this wasn’t the case 100% of the time.
In fact, I can still remember the first Ninja who thought I was an idiot.
Or at least the first who thought it and shared her thoughts.
Without getting into the details, this was someone who came in with sky high expectations AND lots of natural skepticism. She had a lot of (reasonable) frustrations about her industry’s influence on how she felt about her body. And to her defense, I have a sense that she caught me for a few of my relatively rare “off” classes.
Taken this together, she was NOT happy with her experience.
She railed into one of our coaches about it. And about me.
And it hurt. A lot.
I remember literally losing sleep over this client and her critiques.
But here’s the real takeaway of today’s missive…
Long time readers know I’m all for feedback. As a rule, it’s best to start with curiosity. Assume there’s something you could be doing better. Look for a valuable lesson, no matter how shittily the feedback is delivered.
But…
Sometimes it’s actually not about you.
This individual was bringing a LOT into her experience. And while I’m sure I played a role, I was also a convenient depository for a lot of pent up anger at the world.
And keep in mind, I don’t think this client was a bad person.
She was just mad. And I happened to be there.
But leaving this specific example aside…
Some people ARE just assholes.
In fact, the American Psychiatrist Association estimates that 3-5% of the population are sociopaths. I’m not stigmatizing mental health issues. But we have to consider that not all sources of feedback are reliable. And you can’t trust your emotional state to the whims of unstable people.
If you work with 200 clients, 2-10 of them are going to be mentally unwell. Hopefully you can still help them. But if you have a large enough sample size, you’re not going to be able to win over all clients.
Hell, even with this email newsletter I routinely get cursed at and yelled at haha.
I’m better than ever at not ruminating over unfair feedback. And if you run a gym (or any business), it comes with the territory. So you’re gonna get practice! 😉
The first step is STILL to get curious. Don’t discount critical feedback as your knee jerk reaction. Look for what you can learn.
But don’t give away your power just because someone is paying your gym money each month.
Life is too short.
You can sincerely wish someone well and still fire them as your client,
Mark
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